BLIND EGO
(RPWL Family)

Numb

(2009)

1. Lost 6'09
(Kalle Wallner)
The feeling of beeing lonely and not able to control life. This disability often makes you very angry about yourself.
2. Guilt 6'14
(Kalle Wallner)
A man wants to work off a guilt as a monk. But he will be utilised and betrayed by the corrupt priests.
3. Numb 6'09
(Kalle Wallner)
In this flash, blood is flowing, I can't live in death or life, I can't see with my eyes open, I feel better when I'm numb.
4. Leave 6'53
(Kalle Wallner)
Sometimes you have to watch deedless the end of your relationship.
5. Death 9'38
(Kalle Wallner)
There are so many ideas and beliefs about the aeon. But in the end there will be nothing.
6. Change 7'19
(Kalle Wallner)
The feeling of leaving all behind and beginning a new life..
7. Seek 5'40
(Kalle Wallner)
Angry because of so many shallow people.
8. Risk 3'52
(Kalle Wallner)
The feeling of losing a beloved friend.
9. Torn 4'45
(Kalle Wallner)
Instrumental song full of energy and a playground of sounds, melodies and rhythms.
10. Vow 7'01
(Kalle Wallner)
A man dreams of revenge every night. One morning when he awakes and realises that it was not only a dream...
11. Change Reprise 5'05
(Violet District)
(Kalle Wallner)
Feat. Iggor Cavalera. Variation of Change. As a last song there is an open end if the breakup is successful.

Total Time: 68:45

  • Kalle Wallner - Guitars
  • Paul Wrightson - Vocals
  • Sebastian Harnack - Bass
  • John Jowitt - Bass
  • Michael Schwager - Drums
  • Iggor Cavalera - Drums
  • Yogi Lang - Backing-vocals

    Produced by Yogi Lang
    Mixed and Mastered by Yogi Lang at     FARMLANDS / farmlands.de
    Additional Mastering by Bernhard Frank /     ostwerk.com
    Graphic Design by Stefan Wittmann /     wg-design.com
    Photos by Johannes Sieber /     johannes-sieber.com and Paul Fiction / supershit.com
    Kalle Wallner is supported by Nik     HUBER GUITARS and Mick's GUITAR CENTER

    Music and Words by Kalle Wallner [FARMLANDS / UNIVERSAL PUBLISHING)

    Kalle Wallner would Like to Thank:
    Yogi Lang. Vipo Maat, Michi Kasper. Stefan Wittmann, Paul Fiction, Bernhard Frank. Bine Heller. Paul and Elaine Wrightson and family. John Jowitt and family, Michael Schwager. Iggor Cavalera, Sebastian Harnack, Erwin Rieder. Manuel Amnion, John Mitchell. Stephan Ebner, Zabine Reichhuber, Judith Reichert. Mark Westwood, Felix Kraus. Cleo Walraff. Heidi Joyce/Universal Publishing Carmen & Zoe, Carola & Tobi, my family. Mick Kramer. Nik Huber, Andreas Huthansl & Grand Guitars, Marcus Wicker & Heike Miiller and all from ECLIPSED MAGAZINE. Wolfgang Stolt, Eddie Daum, Markus Jehle. Detlev Schmidt. Joe Asmodo, Dirk Jakob. Arie and Nanda at Boederij. Nick from the lovely South of Netherlands, Erik Bosman & family and all I've forgotten. Paul Wrightson would like to to thank Elaine. George, Ben and Sebastian Wrightson; Libby Hood, Thea. Amy and Sam, Tom and Laura, and Jack. Thanks also to all at The Purple Project for their continuing support. Special thanks to all at Farmlands for all your hard work and patience. God Bless x. Michael Schwager would like to thank his kids Dominik, Philipp & Julian for their love and for everyting they taught me, Uta lor her big love and lovely madness, Marc, Tom. Katharina, Jonathan and Isabel for their confidence and love, Cloy Petersen and all colleagues at drummers focus-munich, especially Marc Turiaux whose blame is my join in to Blind Ego, Jan Vacik and my dear past friends from Dreamscape (original lineup), Bine Heller for her friendship and help, Katie Wallner for everything and at least my beloved mum, sister and brother. Sebastian Harnack would like to say hi to his Sylvan guys and to Esther. John Jowitt would like to thank Mark Westwood, Kate, Ellen, Louis and Daniel.

    Recorded by Yogi Lang and Kalle Wallner at Farmlands additional bass recording by Mark Westwood at NOMAD 510




    1. Lost

      Omnipresent phrase in mind
      Spoken words said one million times
      I close my eyes and I turn around
      To leave it all behind

      Lost somewhere between earth and sky
      Who are you to say I'll be this way
      Lost because I want to be lost
      Don't try to find me

      You could say I lost my belief in faith
      You could say I've never been at a better place
      Could be lost inside my life
      Waiting for the end of time

      The break of day, filled with emptiness
      Like frozen in time, disaffected with life
      Restless craving, never sleeping

      Reflections of past fantasies
      Eaten up by my loneliness
      A created world full of punishment
      That's all what's left of me

      Grounded and caught in the space of time
      Disappeared without a trace
      Lost because I want to be lost
      Don't try to save me

      You could say I try to cheat through my life
      You could say I've never been clever and wise
      Words I've said for all these years
      Things I've done one million times

      The break of day, filled with emptiness
      Like frozen in time, disaffected with life
      Restless craving, never sleeping

    2. Guil

      He never cared what the prophets said, anytime...
      He gathers rain for his guilt and pain, falling down...
      To clean himself, to wash his soul...
      Escape from himself...
      Mistakes, made over and over again...
      Clearing his guilt...

      His forehead branded by their holy sign
      Day by day he's living in this line
      He's begging the master on his knees...

      (priest:)
      "One word, one sign and everything's forgiven.
      Now, say you prayers and everything's alright.
      Don't shift your blame on another backdoor.
      Sell your soul and soon you will be absolved."

      He tries to repent for his sins as he was told
      His only hope arriving at the other side

      In the name of belief
      In the name of belief
      They wash their hands of it
      Obessed and blind

      Unable and bowed running out of time
      Too mortified to reveal this evil crime
      Tortured in guilt, what's right what’s wrong

      (Priest:)
      "Your fate, your soul, everything is fleeting.
      I tell the truth in favor of the saints.
      They came to teach discerning good and evil.
      Now it's mine to pronounce the rights for all."

      Unsolved questions remaining like a wall
      Empty words are leading to the final fall

      In the end he will receive eternal life...
      There's nothing more to care...
      Escape into another phase...
      The end: escape from himself...

    3. Numb

      How far can I go in this cage I've to stay
      The voice in my head says I don't have to care
      Tries to convince me I don’t have to change
      Far from my reach is the life I'll never attain

      All disappears as I scream at the wind
      Facing the truth, now my fate has been sealed
      The pain is increasing still I can't break free
      Blinding light searing my eyes, I can't look away

      When I was alive
      Something inside had told me
      When I was revived
      Sombody around approved me

      How long is it since all these thoughts crossed my mind
      I see all these pictures with unopen eyes

      How long am I breathing in this endless shape
      Feeling the silence which rules in my head
      Getting demented my mind will not die
      Inside my head there’s no faith, I’ve run out of time

      When I was alive
      Something inside had told me
      When I was revived
      Sombody around approved me
      When I'm crucified
      Something inside had shown me

      I just awoke, the sun is cloaked
      Now I'm everything I hate
      I can't feel only one notion
      Face to face with the truth

      In this flash, blood is flowing
      I can't live in death or life
      I can't see with my eyes open
      I feel better when I'm numb

    4. Leave

      I've told you this once before you're gone
      Don't try to take me down
      You're having nothing that is worth to hold onto

      You're always hiding behind your smile
      Do you think I can't see your face?
      I'm not blind, I still see what's all around

      Please, I never thought in a million years...
      Can't hear myself speak or breathe...
      I try hard if I can push you further
      Further as you did to me

      So where were you when I felt this would end
      Stop tryin' to talk me down
      And where were you when our dream was broken down
      Leave me here I'm leaving...

      All these feelings running through my mind
      What would you do if I was you?
      I'm longing for one minute to be free

      I repent the lies as you pushed me down
      Do you still think that I’m to blame?
      Too many times the stories been replayed

      Please, I never thought in a million years...
      Can't hear myself speak or breathe...
      I try hard if I can push you further
      and try to believe in myself...

      And all my life and all the scars, what I am all about
      On and on, what I hold inside and I waste more time than anyone
      And all my life and all the scars, what I am all about
      On and on, what do I hold inside?

      Please, I never thought in a million years...
      Can't hear myself speak or breathe...
      Try not to loose reality
      Am I awake or asleep?

    5. Death

      Searching around / Searching for truth
      Embracing unkind / Nothing can hide

      Open your eyes / Won't undertake
      Wasted from years / There's no fake

      Diseasing the eyes / Reduced to be blind
      Crushing the cross / Make all gods die

      I've seen the end and there's no light
      You close the door and that's where it ends
      There's no light. Make all gods die...

      Drown in misery / Serving the time
      Loosing the faith / Suffering in crime

      Priests are deceiving / Blood on their hands
      Book filled with lies / Taking thy pride

      Down comes the rain / Whipping down hard
      Rest in peace / Wash away the stains

      I've seen the end and there's no light
      You close the door and that's where it ends
      There's no light. Make all gods die…

      Straying around / Praying and begging
      Cursed be thy name / Ready to carry their blame

      Open your eyes / Breaking through chaines
      Celebrating the fall / Knowing that this is the end

      In the drowning of procedure
      In this world of rotting minds
      Awaking from a dream
      What we also call our life
      Drifting into a new dimension
      With blaze in my sight
      I see you...

    6. Change

      Every now I’m running out
      Come on, we’ll leave this place
      Tonight before all what we’ve built will turn to dust

      I am used to change and then
      I will change again
      Turning like the wheels which work inside my head

      I’m going life or death
      Keep hanging by a thread
      I’m going life or death
      What's on my mind?

      Come on down, now we will leave this town forever
      Get on with life, pray we will find a better one

      Every now I'm drifting out
      I keep on sinking down
      and all this lying which is locked inside my head

      I am used to change and then
      I will change again
      Turning like the wheels that spin around themselves

      I’m going life or death
      Keep hanging by a thread
      I’m going life or death
      What's on my mind?

      Come on down, now we will leave this town forever
      Get on with life, pray we will find a better one

    7. Seek

      Some say the simple things in life are the best
      Some say the future is unwritten, seek and you will find...
      Some say the belief in god will save your life
      Some say they’re feeling better when the sun is rising high

      All designed for my ultimate downfall
      What drives a man in his darkest throes?
      And I reach out and see my life unfold
      One day I’ll find you...

      Let's shoot the moon!
      In control I'm not in control
      Left all behind me
      All that's good I have given up

      Let’s shoot the moon!
      In control I’m not in control
      There's no escape here
      Played too much and I want to stop

      Some say they're longing for a throne, reaching for the stars
      They aspire to be almighty, they laugh at your despair

      All designed for my ultimate downfall
      What drives a man in his darkest throes?
      And I reach out and see my life unfold
      One day I’ll find you...

      Let's shoot the moon!
      In control I'm not in control
      Left all behind me
      All that's good I have given up

      Let’s shoot the moon!
      In control I’m not in control
      There's no escape of here
      Played too much and I want to stop

    8. Risk

      Do you like to say the words you hide?
      And do you like to trade up for a ride?
      Do you trust the thoughts inside your head?
      And are you scared to loose what you arranged?

      What have I done ever and anon
      Stopped running the risk to fail once more
      All that I need is a new world better than ours

      With each passing day the moment has come
      The waiting is over and life must go on
      I check my breath for cold and hold on...

      Do you think you differed right from wrong?
      And are you satisfied with all you've done?
      Are you pleased with everything the way it is?
      Are you scared of looking back at all?

      You couldn't read the silence
      And I couldn't play my part
      If you never go ahead you'll keep on looking back
      You don't move, and I'm still and silent.

      Don't you like to move ahead and run?
      And aren't you sad to see what we have done?
      Was it worth the price we paid all these lies?
      Are you proud of all these bitter tears?

      What have I done ever and anon
      Stop running the risk to fail once more
      All that I need is a new world better than ours

      Reached for a star and shut down anew
      Too tired of starting all over again
      Everything's better than this world we've throwed away

      With each passing day the moment has come
      The waiting is over and life must go on
      I check my breath for cold and hold on...

    9. Torn


    10. Vow

      In every waking hour I miss you
      I've lost myself when you were gone
      All the promises you made to me
      They are dead for evermore

      In my dreams I've to live through this over and over
      I'm seeing everyone’s face who has done this to you

      My rage rises high as the new daylight shines
      I've been waiting so long, couldn't stand the pain
      I've been waiting so long, trying to change my fate

      In every sleeping hour I miss you
      I long for what I've lost
      At every dead of night I look for you
      Can't cope with this rate of pulse

      In my dreams is my cold finger on the trigger
      At the crack of dawn everything is done

      My rage rises high as the new daylight shines
      I've been waiting so long, couldn't stand the pain
      I've been waiting so long, trying to change my fate

      Silence's all around when I wake up
      Fulfilled my need in my sleep
      All my darkest thoughts sunk too deep
      I've gone too far beyond the truth

      I'm washing away the cleaning blood on my hands
      Looking dead in their faces with a smile on mine

      My rage rises high as the new daylight shines
      I've been waiting so long, couldn't stand the pain
      I've been waiting so long, trying to change my fate

    11. Change Reprise